This is a little off topic from Personal Training, but follow me on this …
Hey did you read that book THE GAME by Neil Strauss that came out a couple of years ago?
I happen to LOVE that book, and if you haven’t read it yet it’ll probably be one of the most entertaining books you EVER read. Even the ladies love it, even though it’s all about the tricks and tactics about how to crawl into their pants!
The only problem with the book is that a lot of people make a huge mistake after they’ve finished it – they think the book endorses becoming a PICK-UP artist which it doesn’t.
What Neil points out through the book is these PUA’s are actually big-time geeks and losers. To get interest from girls you need to have an identity and have a social life – that’s the real key.
And to have a real social life, you need to actually get out in front of people and create a LIFESTYLE!
The point of the book is that having a boring office job, or sitting in your basement playing WARCRAFT is not going to help you achieve your social goals. You’re going to need to pursue your passions and enjoy them with other like-minded people.
He explains that all the women he hooked up with in the book is because he got rid of his old, ant-social, fear-based identity, and adopted a new identity and lifestyle.
That’s good advice isn’t it? It really has nothing to do with pick-up techniques at all!
I’ve actually met A LOT of these pick-up guys while partying in NYC. They love the MEAT PACKING DISTRICT, and you can also find them all the time at the W Hotel on 14th and the one in Times Square.
Most of them are nice guys – some of them you have to beat off of your girl with a stick!
I’ve actually become friends with a couple of the instructors from REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS, who if you read the book, were the evil bad guys.
What they told me is that they don’t teach any pick-up techniques anymore – that what they tell guys to do instead is to get in touch with their passions and create an appealing lifestyle – and to be more social of course.
I guess that’s what I do on my blog too, for both guys and gals, so we have a lot in common!
I even met the man himself, MYSTERY at the HOTEL GANESVORT last year.
That guy is surreal – it really is like meeting a LIVING VAMPIRE like they say in the book!
He was swamped with ladies, but I got to talk to him for a little while along with a few of his boys – in general what you’ll find is these guys are pretty nerdy. If you’re a trainer that’s living the FITNESS LIFESTYLE, you’re not missing out on much.
I even saw one Mystery’s instructors again just a few days later at HOME, which is a pretty gangster weeknight club in the west 20’s. Despite the shootings this place still manages to stay open and I still keep going back.
This guy was trying to do magic tricks and stuff to get interest from people. Needless to say that after a while, he just ended up sitting in the corner by himself.
It was pretty sad – so what’s the moral?
Be thankful you’re in training and fitness as a career and lifestyle!
If you do it right, it should free you from the traps that leave a lot of people stuck unhappy and without any social skills. Get to know other trainers, get in great shape yourself, pursue what makes you happy, and give value to your community through fitness and just your overall positive energy.
Maybe someone should write a book on that – you know what, I think I’ll make a course about it! Stay tuned for that …
Until then use this “game” of Personal Training for all it’s worth – this is way more than a job – it’s the door to an entire lifestyle!
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Great post, and even though PUA’s often come across as geeks (and they might AMOG you when you’re with your girl), their recommended readings are the EXACT same as a Personal Trainer should apply.
I used to be into that PUA thing, which led me to read ‘Influence’ , ‘Think and Grow Rich’ , among others. It’s all about being an Alpha Male, having this be your world, having the strongest reality, etc.
We’re just THAT lucky that Personal Training is 100% about those principles.
Forget “sarging”, we call it “prospecting”.
Kaiser, great post as always. And the GAME is as important to read as is any book on direct sales, marketing, and rentention.
Early in my PT career I had more success looking outside of my industry for marketing and selling ideas than inside. The results where always being ahead of the curve like offer 30 minute sessions before anyone else, creating EFT (continuity), online training, ect.
Kaiser, dude I LOVE that book, in fact my second most popular post ever was about how the same techniques PUA’s use to get women work on getting clients.
In fact, I just made a video for my blog yesterday with my bud Steve Hochman where he breaks down how’s he’s been using PUA strategies to get TONS of clients into his boot camps – he’s been getting KILLER results with this stuff
Cool post bro, me and Bedros were chatting about you yesterday on the 5 freeway on our way up to Valerie Waters launch get together
We’re both impressed with the way you’ve been doing things lately
Hey Chris – yeah the book kind of translates to everything – in the end it’s about how to give value, create a positive image, and connect with people – what kind of connection you’re looking for is up to you!
And yeah Bedros, for Trainers more so than any other profession, looking outside of the “job” is vital for success. There are so many variables and so much of a human element to what we do that you have to get your drive and inspiration from other places – it’s then that you can unlock the true potential here and get out of the slave labor mindset of the big box gyms –
What’s up Michael – yeah that PUA stuff is a good vehicle for positive change – I think that gets lost from what I hear about how people interpret Neil’s book. And yeah, you’re right about the relation to Personal Training – the same principles work for both!
“What Neil points out through the book is these PUA’s are actually big-time geeks and losers.”
“I even saw one Mystery’s instructors again just a few days later at HOME… This guy was trying to do magic tricks and stuff to get interest from people. Needless to say that after a while, he just ended up sitting in the corner by himself… It was pretty sad”
It’s nice to see there are other people out there clued up enough to recognize the damn truth.
Keep it real.
Yeah – I think it’s a mistake to treat the book as more than just a highly entertaining, very well written piece of fiction. One of those “based on a true story” movie types.
Yeah I remember reading this book back in college – haha, I felt kind of funny about it, but my roomate would constantly hear me cracking up in my bedroom and had to know what it was – I ended up lending him the book, b/c it was, like you guys say, very entertaining.
We didn’t take it too seriously, but since we’d always go out together, we definitely noticed a changed in the way we approached different things.
To me, I can just take the title, and apply it to a lot of things – treating life and my career as a fun game. Keeps me from getting too SERIOUS when things aren’t going well. Seems like other people that take this more fun approach have a better attitude and tend to do well in personal training.
Yeah good point Doug – by calling the book “fiction” I kind of overlooked that – that the book does blow open your reality and show you a different way of perceiving human interaction, and beyond that business and marketing –
Drawing the parallel to Personal Training, it’s the same – it was the the same major turning point that occurred in my thinking about this profession – when you’re conditioned to think in terms of:
School>>>grad school>>>secure job+student debt>>>>more major debt>>>give up on your dreams …
The whole idea of a job based on something you already love, being the boss of your customers, making more than hardly anyone can make in a few short years, and none of it requiring sitting in classrooms or behind a desk doesn’t make any sense –
So it’s a major turning point in thinking – changing how you think of society and what’s possible –
i would love to meet this guy. i have both the game and mystery’s new book. how awesome is that you met him. There is the PUA show on VH1, but i never catch it since i am so busy working around the clock and plus i keep forgetting. for one thing, i want to ask you is this: what did you learn about this guy? Why do you think it is impertavtive to learn this method as for marketing and trying to get new clients. can you give me more details– i need to find a way to warm new clients and get them to sign up my group training and boot camp too. thanks!!
HaHa this keeps getting better. Ah man it’s good that you know abou the game so you can catch some chump trying to pull some techniques on your brazilian mami. Man I’ve read everything I can on pick-up and was seriously considering being a pick-up artist once. Then you realize that once you have the lifestyle the women will come because you don’t have game any longer YOU ARE game.