10 Commandments For Dating My Daughter

10 Commandments For Dating My Daughter

Posted on 01. Jun, 2011 by in Marketing Fitness

On July 3rd of 2009 my whole life changed when I held my little girl in my arms for the first time. My life to that point was ALL about me. It was about my car, my watch, my clothes, my h***, well you get the idea.  Being a single child and becoming a bodybuilder (most selfish self center sport) and making a S*** load of money right after school didn’t help me much either.

But as soon as I held my little princess and looked in her eyes I felt a shockwave throughout my body. All of the sudden I didn’t care about anything but to provide and protect this innocent little child.

I realized that anything that I do can and will impact her future. Wow what a responsibility.

As a matter of fact before we took her home for the first time I had to first pick up a “baby on board” sign. I actually for the first time in my life drove the speed limit (even slower) and I was paranoid of any cars near our vicinity.

This little creature is responsible for giving me hope, drive, and determination to succeed.

I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SUCCEED. AS MY BOY FLOYD “MONEY” MAYWEATHER ONCE TOLD ME “YOU CAN’T STOP GOD’S WORK”

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SO I……….

Immediately set up a college fund and put in 20K to get IT started. I also set up my bank to transfer $1200/month to her account automatically on the 30th of each month.

Then I made her a website www.BaileeRoseBakhtiar.com.

Business Lesson: Make it easy for your customers to do business with you

The purpose of this site is that I don’t want our family and friends to buy unwanted gifts for my daughter for Birthdays, Christmas and Holidays.  So if a close friend or family insists on wanting to get her something I just direct them to the site and ask them to just contribute to her college fund instead.

Business Lesson: Dictate to your customers how to do business with you not the other way around.

Of course for our immediate family there is the EFT option. 8-)

Yep that’s the entrepreneur in me

So my Mom, Grandma and Grandpa, aunt and uncle, and 4 cousins are ALL on EFT and contribute a total of about $500/month to her college fund.

Business Lesson: Always choose a continuity model. Is much easier to get a little money from a lot of people than to get big money from few.

I think that’s just brilliant. Instead of wasting money on toys and things that she really don’t need why not contribute to her future?

The business lesson here is to STOP wasting your money on things that don’t matter. I see so many fitness professionals just buying things that really don’t matter. Here is what I recommend doing with your money.

Save it: Systematically put 10-20% of your income away. Live on the 80-90%. Yes you can do it TRUST ME. About 4 years ago I decided to put 3K a week away automatically. So every Friday 3K goes to my investment account that I CAN’T TOUCH.

Invest it: In your business and education. The best investment is in yourself. I didn’t mean buying 113 pairs of shoes either.

Just when I thought I had everything covered………

I felt this fear take over my body. I started getting very upset. My biggest fear is now BOYS

So I thought I plan ahead and set some ground rules for dating my daughter…….

Business Lesson: It’s NEVER to early to plan ahead. You got to have a vision about every aspect of your life including your business.


I even dusted off some of my old never seen before bodybuilding pictures for this post.

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Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you sure as h*** are not picking anything up.

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Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

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I got another 14 years to get back to looking like that again ;)

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.

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Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.

Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

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Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

Please do not do this.

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The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

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Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

If you make her cry, I will make you cry like a baby.

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Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

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If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

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Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

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Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:

Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

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Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.

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Places where there is darkness.

Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat.

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Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay.

Hockey games are okay.

Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me.

I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe.

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If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

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Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.

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When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.

Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside.

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The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

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I hope you enjoyed this post. I am having a blast being a Dad. Nothing like being inducted to the “dad’s club”.

sam-bb-and-j

Thank you for being part of our lives!! We appreciate you all!!

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6 Comments

Michael

01. Jun, 2011

LMAO!!! I love it…that’s how I feel with my 16 year old sister.

armando

02. Jun, 2011

Love it Sam. Now that I have a little I may need to adopt these rules. Thanks for sharing

Jim

02. Jun, 2011

So glad i grew up with 7brothers no sisters. But very afraid that when i do have kids it will be a girl :) (karma!)

sam

04. Jun, 2011

Jim, you just would have to keep working out and learn how to shoot a gun ;)

Kaiser Serajuddin

02. Jun, 2011

Some brilliant ideas on the college fund – just one Q for you bro – with all you know about being an entrepreneur, why would you advise your daughter to go to college? The education bubble is the next to explode – to anyone that’s a reader of this site, be glad that you’re seeing it coming.

Howie Long said it best: “I’ll shoot the first guy that shows up at the door – after that, word should get around.”

sam

02. Jun, 2011

Great question Kaiser and I am so glad you caught that. I will be the first one to admit that higher education is overrated. After all I went to college for 8 years and I only use less than 5% of what I learned. I call it “college fund” cause that’s the only way I can have our traditional family members contribute to it. My little princess is coming out with her first product launch for toddlers in the next 6 months. She is putting the finishing touches to her product “How to potty train your toddler in 21 days or less guaranteed”. Now we’re looking for affiliates ;)

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